Berzerker from Jay and Silent Bob (powered by Caviar Gold)

Berzerker from Jay and Silent Bob (powered by Caviar Gold) via Show Grow Long Beach on 4/27/2020 (Shoutout to @dude_doing_things for swooping it for me). THC tested out to 840.43 MG for the batch which I believe calculates to about 24%. Goes for $56 before tax. Growing up I watched the movie Clerks nearly every day of my Freshman and Sophomore years of high school. It’s one of those movies I quoted to everyone around me to an annoying degree, so when I saw that Jay and Silent Bob had their own brand of “Lunar Modules” (aka moon rocks), I knew I had to get my hands on some. I will admit, once I found out that it was “powered by Caviar Gold”, I reflexively grimaced as their pre-rolls haven’t sat well with me in the past and as I opened the jar I was reminded why. The surface of these buds are a patch work of greenish yellow kief and dark black spots that appear stained through with oil. No semblance of the original herb remains.

The nose is this intensely fake sickly sweet vanilla berry. It smells like a cheap scented candle version of vanilla and berry, like something you might find at the 99 Cent store because they obviously botched the formula when making them, but couldn’t afford to just throw the rejects away. When busting open a nug it breaks in an odd way, as if the nug itself is dry but remoistened by the distillate, it comes off in these big solid hunks but the smell remains the same. When grinding it down by hand it leaves this sticky off putting film on the fingers and the sickly sweet vanilla smell gets really strong with a berry like edge. As I prepped the J, my face remained contorted, and it felt like someone was telling me to eat something that smelled really gross because it actually tasted really good. The dry pull did end up being much tastier than I thought as it hit me with sugar sweetness and a hint of gas. The inhale is a little harsh and will leave you with a sore tickle in the back of your throat from the first hit. It’s semi-floral in this chemical-esque perfumey sort of way, with a bit of waxy vanilla sweetness in the background on the bong, as where on the joint it more of a straight forward muted fake vanilla. The exhale on the bong feels like you’re literally breathing out some of your grandma’s oldest cheap perfume, as where on the joint, it has a fake sugar sweetness with a hint of berry and a little skunky beer underneath. Cross checking the flavor on my MV1 from Ghost Vapes at 185c I get a shockingly pleasant sweet floral with a pine zing. The headchange comes on fast but is really tame for something that is supposed to shoot you to space. It’s functional enough yet there’s nothing specific as to its effects, it just feels like a disappointingly generic and mild high, and it really makes me wonder about their starting material. What kind of weed is this anyway? There’s no indication on the box. My thoughts have always been that moon rocks are essentially a way to hide boof by spicing it up with some oil and kief and the Lunar Modules haven’t done much to change my mind. The truth is, 10 years ago I probably would have went bonkers over this product as Caviar Gold was in fact high powered herb for the time, but times have most definitely changed. People often ask me why I don’t give a number rating in my reviews and one reason is that quality is a moving target. What was a 10/10 a decade a go is a 5 or less by today’s standards so those numbers become arbitrary at some point. If Jay and Silent Bob had gotten their hands on these buds back in the 90’s they’d probably have some of the best weed around, however, in today’s marketplace it feels like an anachronism. It’d be like going to Best Buy and seeing a Zune on the same shelf and at the ticket as a new iPad, you’d probably just wonder, “who wants to buy that?” and I have the same question about this. My guess would be a Kevin Smith fan who smokes weed maybe once or twice year and no familiarity with quality herb. As much as I’d love to give a Jay and Silent Bob cannabis product a passing grade I just can’t. The only redeeming value this batch had was a surprisingly tasty dry pull/vape and that was only in contrast to how unpalatable the rest of the experience was. This really should be put on the low shelf for a bargain ticket as opposed to what it goes for regularly. I’m not sure I’d even smoke this again if it were given to me. It just wasn’t enjoyable and I don’t care to repeat the experience.