French Laundry from Kingston Royal via Eaze on 4/23/2021 (shout out to Jake at Eaze for making it happen!). THC tested out to 32.99%. This was gifted to me but goes for $65 pre-tax on Eaze. When Jake from Eaze hit me up and asked if there were any brands they had on deck I was interested in, I jumped on the site and Kingston Royal caught my eye (admittedly mostly on the ticket and a somewhat fancy looking jar), and since I’d never heard of the brand previously I was definitely on board to check them out. 

These slightly trident-esque buds are a mix of fern and forest greens contrasted against eggplant and byzantine purples, paired with tightly coiled veins of rusty bronze pistils, all of which are flocked in thick coat of goldenrod and crystal clear triches. 

The nose out of the jar is a sweet must with a faint grape lingering in the background. Busting open a bud, the grape brightens up and brings a sugar sweet quality into the mix as well, relegating that mustiness to the backend along with an echo of freshness. Breaking it down by hand, the grinds have a deep sweet candy like grape that reminds me of some old school Big League Chew, while on my fingers lingers notes of a more subdued grape with a much more pronounced must. 

Taking a dry pull on the joint I get an extremely muted grape candy with a fresh edge. The inhale was smooth initially but got a little harsh about a quarter of the way through the joint, and although it started with some decent bubblebum grape flavor, it quickly lost steam and reverted to a plain nondescript smoke. The inhale on the bong was also very nondescript and could be characterized as a light sweet floral at best. The exhale on the joint was a smokey floral with a very very distant chalky grape, whereas the bong had just a touch of sweet floral grape, but it too was fairly faint. Cross checking the flavors on my GhostVapes MV1, at 170c there was an extremely faint mint and floral with a muted skunky beer aftertaste, whereas at 185c there was a mild sweet floral but again very muted and almost indetectable. 

The headchange comes on quickly and in a way that is best described with the use of the word “serviceable”. It works but it’s not particularly remarkable in any sort of way. I feel hazy headed and stoned but for some reason I was also constantly underwhelmed by the effects of this batch. Mentally I was present and had no issues focusing, and while it did help manage to quell some anxieties, there was just something flat and lackluster about the buzz. Physically there was a slight pressure on my body, an extra bit of weight in my shoulders, that over time managed to amplify to the point of eventual couchlock. If anything, the persistent quality that seemed most evident in regard to this batch was its ability to put me to sleep about an hour or so after smoking it. It’s such a strange state to be in, not exactly ripped, but just extremely sedated to the point I just couldn’t manage to keep my eyes open. 

All and all, while this batch looked great, it absolutely lost me on taste, smoke and effect. I can’t say I’d be excited to repeat the experience regardless of the ticket, and while some extremely sedative non-psychoactive smoke may be right up some folks alley, it’s not something I personally enjoy. Sorry Kingston Royal, this one just wasn’t it for me.