Gelatti from Ember Valley

GelattiĀ from Ember Valley via Los Angeles Farmers_ on 2/04/2020. THC tested out to 21.04%. Purchased for $25 out the door. I have heard a lot of great things about Gelatti so when I saw Los Angeles Farmers had it on the low shelf for a killer ticket I couldn’t help but jump in. These semi dense buds are an eye catching mix of moss and hunter greens with goldenrod pistils and a healthy layer of brilliant white triches.

The nose out of the jar is a sickly sweet fruit that strikes me like an overripe cantaloupe, it’s smells great frankly, but if a fruit actually smelled this way you might suspect it’s started to turn. On busting open a nug that sickly sweet fruit remains but there is a mix of mint and pine that emerges and relegates it to the background. When broken down by hand my fingers had a nice stick to them as the grinds came with that familiar “foreign fruit market” gelato smell coupled with a fresh backend that leans slightly more pine than mint. The dry pull on the joint reveals a candy sweetness that meshes with hints of fruit and mint pine to leave a muted sweet fresh aftertaste on the tongue. The inhale was smooth and had a touch of a sugar sweet taste of the joint where as the bong offered more of a minty floral zing. The exhale on both was a sweet grungy fruit but the bong had a slight mint tang that seemed absent from the joint smoking experience. Cross checking the flavors on my MV1 from Ghost Vapes at 170c I got a minty pine with sugar sweet fruit in the background where at 185c the pine element amped up to a degree where it tasted like a pleasant, safe to consume, form of Pinesol. At 200c the flavor was mostly floral with just a touch of pine so I’d say this one, as I’m finding with a lot of herb, should be enjoyed at lower temps when looking for the best flavor experience on a vape. The headchange comes on quick and with a healthy slap that’s a little bit of a trickster when it comes to the confidence you have in your own cognizance. At first I thought I was able to think clearly and accomplish tasks with little distraction, I really felt like I was getting things done, but when I started to touch base with reality the truth settled in. I realized that I would start a task, space out at some point during that task which would inspire me to begin a new task, only to come to the conclusion later that I hadn’t finished anything I’d started. In addition, I smoked about half of this batch and when I went to add to the notes I’d surely already started, I couldn’t find them. It turns out, I’d never started those notes like I usually do when I begin smoking on any batch for review, which I’d say only speaks further to the mental trickery of which this batch of Gelatti is capable. It’s as if it wraps your brain in a warm blanket of self affirmation, it tells you that you’re doing great and you should be proud of yourself, and even if you didn’t actually accomplish anything in the end you’ll still feel alright about it. This jar of Gelatti was fantastic, even though it was from the end of October, it held up very well and I’d have no issue picking it up again especially at the discounted rate that I got on it. Props to Ember Valley, excellent work on this one, I can’t wait to see what new heat you guys push out next. 

Now and Laters from Ember Valley

Now and Laters from Ember Valley via Los Angeles Farmers on 2/04/2020. THC tested out to 20.53%. Purchased for $25 out the door. Ember Valley has an awesome line up but the ticket can be fairly steep, so when I saw LA Farmers had put about 9 flavors on their low shelf, I knew I had to get in on it. As a sativa head I’d been really curious about Now and Laters so I was stoked they still had some on deck by the time I arrived. These semi dense foxtail-ish nugs are very pleasing to the eye. The majority of coloring appears to be a deep rich purple with the remaining areas being a bright lime green and wisps of brownish orange pistils shooting off in all directions. Truth be told it’s hard to get an accurate read on these colors as there’s a massive amount of yellowed triches overwhelming every part of the surface and that makes it hard to see what’s going on beneath them.

The nose out of the jar is a very acrid smell up top, that same sort of electric “9-volt taste” smell that’s reminiscent of Blue Dream, but with a sweet fruit candy quality filling out background. When breaking open a bud the mustiness widens out and you get more of a feel for that fruit. When breaking it down by hand you’ll notice the mustiness dissipates completely and there’s a pleasant sharp sweet fruit scent that remains. When dry pulling the jay I pick up on a rich musty fruit with a slight floral edge. The inhale is smooth initially but fairly nondescript on both the bong and the joint. On the exhale from the joint I caught a bit of sweet apple flavor with some acrid earthiness but it’s all really muted and muddled, the bong didn’t really have a lot to offer in terms of flavor profile either. Toward the end of the joint the inhale started to feel a bit harsh and hard on the throat. Cross checking the flavor on my MV1 from @ghostvapesofficial I got a generic floral freshness which sort of put a proper cherry on this extremely vague tasting experience. The headchange comes on fast and gives you a case of fuzzy forehead near immediately. It settles into the eyes and gives you a bit of a floaty feeling but is lacking the focus and caffeine like edge that I tend to look for in a sativa. In terms of effect it feels more like a hybrid to me and something that I’d probably use to wind down after work. It’s beautiful well cultivated flower that I was lucky to secure at an extremely discounted rate but there wasn’t anything about it in particular that stuck out to me about it to say I’d be a repeat buyer, especially at the full ticket. Sorry Ember Valley, while extremely photogenic, Now and Laters was a miss for me

Pie Face OG from Ember Valley

Pie Face OG from Ember Valley via Tropicanna on 9/25/19. THC tested out to 23.39%. Purchased for $55 plus tax minus 20% first time discount. I’ve been aware of Ember Valley for quite some time now. They’re putting out a heavy arsenal of firepower that has impressed a few of my reviewer cohorts so I’m stoked to finally get my hands on some. This batch is extremely dense and there’s barely any give to the squeeze. These tightly packed buds have a beautiful light green landscape that’s accented by rich purple hues and tightly wound auburn pistils that push their way to a surface that’s coated in a light frosting of petite triches.

On opening the jar you’re slapped in the face with a smell that seems to go mute near immediately. It’s honestly a bit of a head scratcher but there is this sweet fruity scent that hits your nose at first that’s quickly relegated to the background as this pleasant rubber smell comes in and takes over. I haven’t smoked a lot of hash, but it’s that new pencil eraser rubber like smell that reminds me of old school hash in Amsterdam. On the nug break that sweetness becomes even more faint and while the rubber smell remains it seems slightly more muted as well. On the hand break down it actually seems to dissipate even more and it’s really hard to gauge the smell, it’s one of the more difficult to nail down scent profiles I’ve come across, but it does leave a nice bit of stickiness on the fingers after you’re done with it. The inhale is smooth has that rubber hashy taste as expected and on the exhale I feel like the rubber taste kind of widens out into this nice deep fuel like finish. As for the headchange, this was honestly one of the heaviest creepers I’ve experienced in recent memory. You can easily burn through back to back bowls but only minutes after that second bowl will you really start to feel the effects of this Pie Face OG. In a group chat with some reviewer pals I described it as feeling “like it sneaks up behind you methodically and puts a rag soaked in slow acting ether over your mouth”. It took me a while to put that sentence together while in grips of this flower’s effects. It was hard to concentrate, hard to spell, hard to even stay awake as the ether like effects took over and sent me to bed pretty much every time. This is fantastic evening strain that’s perfect for obliterating your worries about the real world and helping you get a good nights sleep. This was a great introduction into the world of Ember Valley. I definitely look forward to getting my hands on more of their flower and wouldn’t hesitate to pick up Pie Face OG again when I need something guaranteed to knock me out. Fantastic job to the crew at Ember Valley!