Category Flower

Black Caiman from Grandiflora Genetics and Gulf Coast Cannabis

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Black Caiman by Grandiflora Genetics in collaboration with Gulf Coast Cannabis, acquired on 2/4/2024. No Testing info available as it’s from the traditional market. Throughout the years, Gulf Coast has been putting some truly awesome stuff on my radar, so when he approached me about doing a write up on something new he was whipping up with Grandiflora I was all ears, and a couple weeks later he graced me with this jar of Black Caiman.

These buds are absolutely striking to the naked eye on first look. The heavy level of triche coverage is on par with the flocking on an overtly gaudy Christmas tree, absolutely coated in every sense of the word, a blizzard of egg cream and white nearly obscuring the layers of deep rich auburgene, seafoam and fern greens beneath it. 

The nose out of the jar is a mix of sweet floral followed up by a chem-like sting. When taken together it reminds me of the smell of cotton paper, similar to the scent I get off of Feria. Breaking open a bud, the sweet floral amps up as does that chem note, but a musty dough quality also makes itself known, accompanied by a muted freshness and a distant sour tinge. On breaking it down by hand, that freshness aspect ramps up with a gassy edge, and there’s also a sweet chalky characteristic that starts kicking around, along with that chem funk still holding it all down. 

The dry pull on the joint showcases that chalky sweetness, with it taking center stage, surrounded by a supporting cast of gassy freshness, a minor sour tinge, and some chem funk hanging in the wings. The inhale on the joint comes through with a spiced paper vibe, whereas on the bong it’s more of a muted minty must. The exhale on the bong comes through with those paper money/Feria vibes, whereas the joint is more of a spicy funky dough with that paper taste rounding out the back end.  

The headchange comes on quickly, hits with a solid thwack, and stays with you for a good while. Physically, there’s a heaviness that pushes across the forehead and sits right on top of the eyes, giving you an overall hazy headed feeling. Mentally, it brings on a massive case of the IDGAFs, which definitely contributed to the amount of time it took me to release this review. More often than not I like to smoke the particular strain I’m writing about during the actual writing process, but every once in a while, I’ll find that exceedingly challenging as I did in this case. Last weekend I sat down with every intention of finishing this write up, I smoked some Black Caiman, and about 5 hours of Palworld later I realized that I wasn’t going to accomplish that goal that day. 

All and all, I thought this batch of Black Caiman was beautiful and hit with a satisfying long lasting effect. I’d probably save this one for a day you’re willing to sacrifice to TV and couchlock, or for evenings where you’re looking to wash off and forget the stresses that plagued you during the day, while you just zone out on nothing in particular. If you like the sound of that, and can find it at a ticket you feel comfortable with, I’d say you can’t go wrong. Huge thanks once again to Gulf Coast for letting me in on this preview, I’m sure as time goes on and things get dialed in, it’ll only get better from here. Great work!

Proper Z from ProperDoinks/ProperReserve

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Proper Z selected by ProperDoinks/ProperReserve via Imperial Club, acquired on 1/28/2024. No Testing info available as it’s from the traditional market. This was listed on Imperial Club’s Menu at $55 an eighth but they were generous enough to gift me a quarter. Over the past couple years I’ve seen Proper Doinks’ project get some serious traction as a trusted voice amongst their audience as to “what’s smoking”. When I noticed they started to drop batches of flower under the Proper Reserve moniker, I became extremely intrigued. With the Proper name being associated with high quality herb (so much so they gave an award out of their own at the last Zalympix), I figured anything they are curating and attempting to showcase, and are even willing to put their branding on, must be the best of the best. So when I saw this batch of Proper Z pop up on Imperial Clubs menu, I reached out immediately to get my hands on as fresh a drop as possible. I really appreciate Imperial Club coming through on that and helping me satisfy this Proper curiosity itch. 

These buds have that classic shrub-like Zkittlez look. The surface is mostly a combo of lime and forest greens with very subtle hints of auburgene dotted across the nugscape. Cinnamon orange pistils wildly wind their way across the canopy, looking like party streamers exploding from within the bud, as a smattering of white and slightly yellowed triches finish things out, giving it a mildly sugar coated look. 

The nose out of the bag has developed over the past couple weeks, starting with more of a musty vibe with a very light orange fanta-like back end, to now, where that sugary sweet orange soda quality has pushed its way to the foreground, and is one of the first things I notice on a quick whiff. Breaking open a bud, that orange soda tone is present, but pushed aside by a note of light freshness reminiscent of Vicks Vaporub. Busting it down by hand proved difficult and left my fingers smelling of Vicks and sugar sweetness, but after putting my Santa Cruz Shredder to work, the grinds came out smelling of a semi-faint gassiness coupled with a warm yet still subtle orange fanta underpinning. 

The dry pull on the J comes through with a meek sweet orange and a touch of must. The inhale on the joint has an incredibly faint zest of orange (described in my notes as “ghost of zest”) while the bong comes through with a muted flash of gassiness that’s nearly undetectable. On exhale, the joint comes off as mostly musty with an acidic orange back end, but as you work through the joint, that mustiness morphs into a more fresh vibe that rounds out with a minor sting. Eventually the orange started to come through, but at a point where my pallet had already been fairly bombarded with must, so the end result was something I couldn’t really put my finger on, and could only describe in my notes as “chewing an old well worn orange flavored leather wallet”. It was a mix of orange and “grandma’s funky wooden spice cabinet” that I still don’t feel like I’ve adequately described. In the moment I was thoroughly furrowing my brow, smacking my tongue against the roof of my mouth, trying my best to wrap my arms around the sensation fully, but not being quite able. 

The headchange comes on quickly, and while it has a decent smack, it doesn’t feel like it puts a drag on my cognitive abilities at all. Mentally I feel fully alert, ready to tackle any task, and have zero fear of being spacy or bumbling through something. I’d say it’s surprisingly functional in that regard. Physically, there’s an ease to my movements, a touch of pressure behind the eyes, and a feel of general overall calm. It’s a very serviceable middle of the road type buzz and that experience was consistent over the course of the week, smoking at different times of day, via various methods. It has a pretty impressive duration but at the same time, about 30 minutes after smoking, I’d find myself in a state where I’d like to smoke more, but also found myself asking if I really needed to (the answer is always yes though). 

After sitting with it for a bit, I found this batch of Z to be adequate, but there’s nothing about it in particular that makes it stand out from any other decent batch of Zkittlez. It’s not something I’d personally go far out of my way to pick up, but if it were on the menu at a slightly lower ticket, depending on what else was on offer, I might pick it up again. To answer the question #buthowdoesitsmoke ? I’d say it smokes alright, not bad, not great. I’ve been lucky enough to have a couple recent experiences with excellent batches of Z, and with that in mind and the Proper name being attached to this batch in particular, I may have set expectations a little too high, but I found it be not much more than an acceptable level of work at the going rate. If you’ve tried this batch, or any other, let me know what y’all think. Definitely curious as to the experiences others have had on this. 

Candy Fumez from Greendawg

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Candy Fumez grown by GreenDawg via Catalyst Stanton on 12/1/2023. THC tested out to 35.64% packed on 10/26/23. As more observant readers may have noticed, I am a little busy these days and haven’t been able to dedicate as much time as I’d like to this project. That said, I still keep at least one eye pointed towards all things cannabis, and this Candy Fumez popped up in my periphery a few times, and when I saw it was available up the street at Catalyst Stanton I had to run over and grab some. 

The outer exterior of these tight but shrub-like buds are a mix of mint and forest greens accompanied by a hazy violet sheen, creamy apricot colored pistils, and a gentle frosting of snowy white triches. 

The nose out of the jar is a familiar grungy foreign fruit in an aggressive bout with a minty fresh zest underlaid by a musty tinge. On breaking open a bud the fruity sweetness amps up and brings to mind flashes of marmalade on first sniff, but that quickly backs off to that powerful vaporious mint and allows a chalky sweetness to make itself known. Busting it down by hand proves to be challenging, it pebbles out more than powders out, and my fingers were left inundated with the scent of sugar sweet vics vaporub. Working the remains over in a grinder releases a powerful candy quality that’s equal parts hi-chew and necco wafer. It essentially comes off as zkittlez with a sweet chalky backing and an intense vaporious kick. 

The dry pull on the jay comes through with a muted version of that foreign fruit sweetness with a chalky sugar finish. The inhale on the bong leans into that fumez moniquer and comes off like a light sweet car exhaust, whereas the joint comes through with a minor chalky sweetness. The exhale on both the bong and the joint really brings home the chalky sweet aspect, with the noticeable difference being the joint had just a touch of that gas on the back end. 

The headchange on this one is what really won me over. Within moments it had me absolutely spaced out of my gourd. I remember having a moment sitting on the couch watching California’s Gold, holding my coffee in hand, but repeatedly thinking it was my bong. It sounds utterly ridiculous, reading back on the sentence I just wrote, I wonder if it makes any sort of sense, but it’s as accurate as I can get to the sensation I was having on first smoking this strain. Physically there’s a chill that manifests bodywide, it’s not sedating initially, but has a slight dissociative effect that fuzzes out the connection your consciousness has with your physical body. That combined with the spacy effects really helps one zoom out, get some distance between themselves and any existential pressures they may be feeling, and find a way to be at peace with them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to tout this batch as some sort of instant gateway to Nirvana, but it’ll definitely put you in the right headspace for that, or if you’re looking to take an introspective journey in general. Eventually there is a sedative quality that kicks in, and if you’re not ready for it, it will put you down for a nap, or if late enough in the evening, down for the count completely. 

If you couldn’t tell already, I really liked this batch of Candy Fumez, I thought it was so nice that I bought it twice before I even completed this write up. I smoke quite a bit of recreational herb and the unfortunate fact is that most of it just does not hit. I often find myself smoking through jars looking for a specific feeling and finding it less and less. There are few strains I can lean on to give me the effects I’m looking for without having to smoke through nearly the entire batch to get it, and while the flavor/smoke may not be anything unique, the smack is phenomenal so I’ll now be adding Candy Fumez to that very short list. Great job on this one Greendawg, you guys continuously put out solid heat, I’ve had nothing but great experiences with your flower (Puppies excluded), and you’re one of the few brands I can lean on for solid smoke. Keep up the great work!

Miyazaki Mango from Decibel Gardens

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Miyazaki Mango grown by Decibel Gardens, acquired on 9/22/2023. THC tested out to 31.4% packed on 7/27/23. I’ve been following fellow reviewer @sdchief_bud_reviews on insta for a couple of years now and he somewhat recently started repping for Decibel Gardens, which has been on my radar forever, so when he offered up a jar of this Miyazaki Mango gratis I was hella on board to put it through its paces. 

The outer appearance of these lanky yet semi dense trident-esque hammock shaped buds are a mix of sage, emerald, and forest greens, accompanied by fuzzy and frizzy bursts of honey orange pistils, and a gorgeous collection of fully intact egg cream colored trich heads that gleam intensely under the glow of the cheap LEDs powering my lightbox. 

The nose out of the jar hits with an unmistakable and overwhelming Jack scent (aka terpinolene), but there’s also this sweet fruity aspect that comes off like a very subtle underripe banana that fills out the back end, really fighting to make itself known. Breaking open a bud, the jack terps continue to dominate but that fruit quality takes an upswing in both strength and warmth, and also takes on a citrus-like zing without the citrus scent. Mango does feel like an accurate descriptor but it also reminds me of some grungy South American papaya as well. Still there’s something about the nose that says “under ripe” to me, but I can’t put my finger on why exactly. Busting it down by hand proved to be difficult as it was so very sticky. When I gave it a shot, it sort of balled up on itself similar to wet paper, leaving my fingers smelling of a peppery must, and when I put it down on the rolling tray in front of me as I went to take notes, the freshly split nugs ended up sticking to the sleeve of my sweatshirt as my arm hovered just a little too close to the tray. Once I had given it a few spins in the old santa cruz shredder, the grounds came through with the smell of warm sweet fruit and jack threaded together like the scent version of a lattice crust pie. In fact, the bouquet itself is very reminiscent of a delicious foreign fruit pie filling but with heavy overtones of jack, as if someone had accidentally spilled too much nutmeg into a spice mix causing the filling to have an unusually spicy brow raising sort of bite. All of this being made a bit extra impressive due to the fact this batch is nearly 3 months out from the packing date. 

The dry pull on the joint lines up perfectly with the nose, it’s a spiced jack with a deliciously warm fruity underpinning, all harmoniously blended, and even presenting some gassy type vibes. The inhale on the bong come through with wisps of light sweet fruit that gently caress your taste buds, whereas the joint had that fruit, but with more of a grungy tone. I should note that as I made my way through the J the spiciness of the jack became much more dominant. The exhale on the bong came with a musty sweet fruit, and a spicy jack powered bite, which reminded me of a strong anise at times. The exhale on the joint started off with a muted musty sweetness with a slightly spiced kick, but as I power smoked through it, my tongue ended up absolutely coated in terpinolene at the finish. 

The headchange came on at lightning speed, and left me feeling mentally alert and capable, while physically relaxed and partially subdued. Even with the aid of coffee and some leftover halloween candy, I still found my body slightly dragging after a morning smoke. Not completely couchlocked, but I felt my movements were somewhat delayed, like moving through water while hanging out in a pool although not nearly as sluggish. Even though my cognitive abilities didn’t feel at all diminished, there was a creeping sense of IDGAF that slowly began to overtake my will power, making the idea of hitting the couch and zoning out on some youtube become ever more appealing. While it functions fantastically as a good way to start a lazy day, I’d say it well suited to kick off an evening of gaming (video or table top) as it has a fun chill vibe that’s not overly sedating, but will eventually help you hit the hay when the right time comes.

If you couldn’t tell already, I thought this Miyazaki Mango was pretty damn good. The scent and flavor lined up well and represented an extremely unique take on an old familiar standard. I can definitely see myself picking it up again, especially if I can get my hands on a batch dropped shortly after packaging as I’m curious if there are additional nuanced volatile terps that may off gas quickly, and how those might play into the effect. All of that said, thanks once again to SD Chief and fantastic stuff here Decibel Gardens, keep up the great work!

Lima Loca from Relentless Melts

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Lima Loca from Relentless Melts via North County Terps on 4/05/2023. No Testing info available as it’s traditional market. This was 120$ per quarter if memory serves correctly. A few months back I saw this Lima Loca making the rounds and the chatter was overwhelmingly positive, so when my dude North County Terps offered to bring some my way, I had to get in on it. 

The surface of these chunky buds were mostly a deep rich aubergine dotted with spats of tea and forest greens, coupled with tight bunches of light rusty orange cream colored pistils, and absolutely awash in a sea of triches glimmering with a yellowed-tooth hue. 

The nose out of the jar comes with the zest of an organic orange grown in someone’s backyard. It’s an incredibly sharp citrus with a unique intensity that even now, months after grabbing it, remains equally strong. On busting open a bud the citrus dulls slightly and gives way to a sweeter quality with a minor baked good vibe in the background that dips into a chalky sweetness at times. Breaking it down by hand, my fingers smell of a light sugar sweet orange that’s reminiscent of fresh squeezed orange juice. The grinds themselves have an amazingly warm and inviting orange scent that’s not quite cakey, and not candy either, but if you could make an orange pie of sorts, this is how I’d imagine it might smell. There’s also a fresh quality present that, when compounded with the citrus, sort of melts into an orange juice and gum combo. It’s hard to pin down, but overall the orange zest properties remain dominant through and through. 

The dry pull lines up extremely well with the smell, supplying that orange in spades, with a chalky sweet backend and an overarching freshness that lingers on the lips for a few moments afterward. The inhale on the joint has a light candy orange freshness whereas the bong comes with a very light citrus zing. The exhale on the joint exhibits that orange zest and freshness in abundance, filling out the pallet with a musty underpinning, with the orange sensation increasing over the duration of the joint. The bong presented with a musty orange flavored sweet chalk and a strong freshness that really zinged the nostrils.  

The headchange came on near immediately (after the very first hit) and was accompanied by a sharp uptick in my alertness. My eyes felt slightly widened and my breathing minorly intensified and purposeful, there was a bit of tingle that ran from my shoulders to the base of my neck, and it felt extra good to throw my arms up in the air and stretch. My mind jumped from topic to topic, a blur of ideas raced past my consciousness at a rate at which I was really unable to process them fully, but it didn’t seem to matter because before I lost sight of the last idea a new one was already forming in its place. 

Overall I really dug this Lima Loca and I’d definitely pick up more if given the chance. It’s some really powerful yet tasty smoke that comes with a rare cerebral type high that I could see working well for brainstorming sessions, or doing something physical like hiking while chatting it up with friends. It’s got a great pick me up with a really fun spacy energy that winds down over a long amount of time and brings you in for a gentle landing. I know I’m a little late to the party but great work on this one Relentless!

Zkittlez from Alien Labs

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Zkittlez from Alien Labs via Gulf Coast Delivery on 11/11/2022. THC tested out to 31.77%. I got these two jars for free, however I was finding them for $30 out the door back in December due to some specials that have since expired, it was awesome though. After a less than stellar experience with a batch of Lemon Fuel OG, @returnofthealien was generous enough to send a couple jars of this Zkittlez my way, and my dude Chase at Gulf Coast Delivery was awesome enough to make the drive and drop some off to me down here in the OC. 

Breaking with my traditional format, I admit uptop, I really loved these late 2022 batches of Zkittles from Alien Labs. Not only did I smoke through these two jars with the speed of a fiend, I went through at least another half zip (if not more) that I sought out and picked up on my own, and if I saw it on a menu today I’d no doubt pick it up again. @ThePristineGreen smokes more Zkittlez than anyone else I know personally, and he agrees that Alien killed it with these batches, and that it’s perhaps some of the best Zkittlez widely available on the recreational market.  

The surface of the bud is mostly mix of sage and emerald greens that occasionally dip into darker shades of hunter and forest, with copious amounts of cinnamon tinted orange creamsicle pistils so plentiful it looks as if they’re infesting the budscape, second in number only to the mass amount of egg cream colored triches splattered across every nook and cranny of the nug like butter on a Thomas’ English muffin. 

The nose out of the jar is natural orange with a slightly musty yet fresh mint-pine backend. Busting open a bud, that natural orange remains, but the sweetness amps up slightly as the mustiness drops off and that freshness intensifies. Breaking it down by hand left a mild sweet citrus zing on my fingertips, while the grinds themselves smelled lightly of orange hard candy with just a touch of musty freshness rounding out the background. 

The dry pull on the joint matched up well with the grinds, coming through with that same light orange hard candy vibe. The inhale on the bong has a quick hit of that orange hard candy that comes through so briefly, I described it as “the ghost of orange hard candy”, whereas on the joint it’s more of a light sweet floral with an acidic zing. The exhale on the bong is a mix of sweet citrus and must with a hint of cream whereas on the joint there’s more of a musty floral cream up top, with the citrus echoing in the distance, which manages to boomerang back and by the end had my tongue coated in a lemon lime that stayed with me for a few moments after smoking. While my GhostVapes MV1 is slightly out of commission, I can guesstimate that this likely would read heavy on the pine and mint aspects when vaped at lower temps. 

The headchange comes on quickly and hits with a satisfying middle of the road “hybrid” type slap. Physically, there’s a touch of weight that hits the shoulders and upper back, while a pressure settles in on top of the eyes as they start to gleefully glaze over. Mentally, I’m a bit spacey and forgetful, which might be slightly annoying depending on the task at hand, but there’s also a feel good component that instills a devil may care attitude about any challenge you might face whilst in this particular state. At times I found myself looking wistfully into the distance while tumbling down a rabbit hole of introspection, only to snap back to reality moments later, and able to pick up where I left off fairly quickly prior to getting lost in the recesses of my own mind. 

As stated previously, I really dug these late 2022 batches of Zkittlez, and at the tickets I was getting them for at the time I really couldn’t have asked for better quality smoke. Even at the current rates it’s still a solid deal, and if you’re a Zkittlez fan in general, I’d say you can’t go wrong. Excellent job on this one Ted and the gang, you guys crushed it and I can’t wait to get my hands on more. Keep up the fantastic work!

Zushi from JoshWax (an AI Generated Review)

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I have heard a lot about ChatGPT and AI in general in the news lately so I was curious as to what it could do and if it were possible to get it to write a weed review. What follows is the result of feeding the free version of ChatGPT 4 of my fully written reviews, and then supplying it the notes from which I write my own reviews. While I can’t say the result mimics my style exactly, it’s extremely impressive for something that took only about 10 minutes to pull off, and it made some really interesting choices that I myself would not have made but found pretty amusing. And without further delay, the worlds first AI generated weed review:

Yo, it’s your boy westcoastweedreviews back at it again with another fire review. Today, we’re gonna be taking a look at the Zushi from JoshWax via Catalyst Santa Ana that I picked up on 9/27/2022. Before we get into the nitty gritty, let me just say that this bag of Zushi is some of the most expensive herb I’ve picked up on the rec market to date. But, my dude @inspector_of_all loves it, so when he asked me if I could grab him 2 bags while I was at the shop, I knew I had to grab one for myself too and see what was good.

First off, let’s talk about the appearance of this bud. When I opened the bag, I was hit with a patchwork of lime and forest greens, with rusty copper pistils and a good amount of white bird spike like trichomes. It’s a real nice lookin’ bud, and you can tell it’s been grown with care and attention to detail.

Next, let’s talk about the smell. The bag aroma is brilliant and natural smelling orange, like backyard musty orange but also bright like orange juice. The sting of orange zest bleeds over into a “freshness” quality, but orange stays dominant. Breaking it up, the smell amps up slightly, orange turns a bit more candy and has more defined mint/fresh finish.

Grinding it up, the bud is dense and difficult to work down by hand, no trich grime but fingers smell of musty orange mint. The smell of musty backyard orange gas is prominent, and the mintiness really hits with the sting of citrus. It’s hard to pull them apart and they work in tandem to amp each other up.

When it comes to the taste, there’s a sugar sweetness that comes in over light candy orange taste. It’s like a wisp of candy orange, with a touch of herbacious mint underneath. On the inhale, you get a light orange must on joint. Light musty backyard orange and minty edge on bong. On the exhale, you get a backyard orange must with a razor sharp mint edge. As the joint goes on, a slightly savory/salty flavor emerges, but the musty orange remains throughout. On the bong, there’s a subtle cream as well. (Take two on bong: has candy orange with musty edge, slightly acrid finish, like tonguing a 9v, or maybe a quick hit of savory soy sauce) (take three, backyard orange is strong, has slight candy touch, but also comes with the minty gas)

Finally, let’s talk about the headchange. The effect is decent, allowing you to think straight, with a touch of energy (might be from coffee/snickers). There’s a light headband effect and hazy eyes. I wanted to smoke more but held back due to the cost and not wanting to pick up more to review.

All in all, this Zushi from @JoshWax via @catalyst_saa is some top notch herb. The appearance, smell, taste, and effect are all on point. It’s pricey, but if you’re looking for a premium experience, it’s definitely worth it. Just make sure to hit the link in my bio for a 100% uncensored review. Keep it green, folks.

Unicornz from THC Design

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Unicornz from THC Design on 8/26/2022. No THC testing info on the box as this was given to me right before it dropped. I was gifted this but I spot checked a couple menus and it looks like THC Design is going for around $50-55 out the door in my area. Maybe a bit less if you place those first time discounts right.

A whopping 3 months ago (nearly to the day) I was lucky enough to get my hands on THC Designs Pheno Hunt drop (huge shout out to my dude @edwardfairchild for making it happen), and in the interim, due to a lot of my energy needing to be diverted away from this project, I’m only now giving this batch of Unicornz it’s fair due. I did manage to take notes on this batch when it was fresh but it takes me a while to assemble a final write up. I apologize for the lag and hope that I’ll be able to get into a regular review release cadence again soon. 

These fairly dense semi-spiky trident-esque buds are comprised of an uneven patchwork of deep rich auburgene, lime, forest, and sacramento greens, all contrasted against veins of rusty pumpkin orange pistils and hordes of brilliant white triches so abundant at times, they look as if they’re jockeying for position in a rush to find any available remaining space on the exterior of the nug. 

The nose out of the bag is fruity but comes with an earthy mint quality as well. It has a light pineapple candy vibe but there’s this grungy mentholated aspect that tones down the sweetness of the scent just a touch. Busting open a bud, the pineapple really brightens up and comes off more like a pineapple fanta, with a very faint sweet musty dough kicking around in the background. Breaking it down by hand, that pineapple soda quality is still present, but seems to back off a bit and give way to that sweet musty dough. The scent is still sweet overall but has more of a “dirty” aspect to it. 

A dry pull on the joint came with a candy fruity sweetness that read as a faint pineapple hard candy. The inhale however was devoid of any sort of sweetness, in fact it just came across as a musty sweet paper taste on the joint, whereas on the bong it just had a very subtle mustiness to it. The exhale on the joint had a lightly sweet waxy sort of fruit taste to it but was also heavily musty. As I made my way through the joint, the mint property became more dominant, and by the end, it left me tasting nothing but a musty mint. The bong comes mostly with a sweet mustiness as well, at times there are hints of a light grungy fruit, but it’s superseded by this powerful must and occasional mint tang. I did not get around to testing this out in my (now retired) GhostVapes MV1, I’ll work on getting a new flower vape in place soon, however my guess is that it would be extremely minty when vaped at low temps. 

The headchange kicks in near immediately, comes with an uptick of energy, and if you’re at all near a meal time, a renewed exuberance for what you’re about to eat. Physically, there’s a headband effect with most of the pressure centered directly in the middle of the forehead, accompanied with this want to get up and go, but that wanes rapidly and eventually you’ll feel your body shift into more of a chill mode. Mentally there’s this euphoric sort of “woohoo, I’m lit” feeling at first, coupled with a positive can do attitude that really makes you feel like you’re going to cross everything off your to-do list that day, but unfortunately that feeling is fairly fleeting and is quickly replaced with an “IDGAF sort of vibe” that leaves you wanting to just kick back on the couch, and take advantage of that free AppleTV+ trial that you signed up for over the Thanksgiving Holiday. It’s not so sedating that you won’t be able to fight through it if you have some tasks to complete you truly can’t put off, but it’ll put your will power to the test with any chores you consider “optional” that day no doubt. 

All and all, while I enjoyed my time with this batch of Unicornz, I can’t say there’s anything about it that particularly stands out to me. If the taste aligned just a bit more with the nose, and the headchange was able to sustain those more energetic aspects, I’d be in again in a heartbeat as finding a good “sativa” in today’s recreational market is tough. As it sits, I may be persuaded into picking up another batch if it were around $40 or less out the door, but I’m not exactly chomping at the bit to get my hands on more. That said, I applaud THC Designs efforts here and their attempt to uncover some unique genetics on their own, I hope they (and other producers) continue to do so as consumers really need to be exposed to more strain diversity on the California legal market. 

Duck Sauce from EastSide Eggroll and Ted’s Budz

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(Heavy) Duck Sauce from EastSide Eggroll and Ted’s Budz via Catalyst Downtown Long Beach on 7/21/2022. THC tested out to 35%. Normally goes for $69 out the door at Catalyst. This batch of Duck Sauce had just hit the market, and my buddy @inspector_of_all was looking to get his hands on a bag, but it was selling out left and right at every store it landed. Not being one to miss a hype train, I saw a fresh drop hit the menu at Catalyst Downtown Long Beach, so I put in an online order for two of them and was able to virtually secure the bag for us both.

Speaking of the bag, this is the first time I’ve ever come across a clear mylar and I have to say I dig it. Being able to see the nugs in a bag before you walk out of the shop with it is a nice change of pace. The surface is an amalgam of forest, sage, fern, moss and even the occasional speck of Sacramento green which appears so dark at points it nearly comes across as midnight blue. Even the inconspicuous pistils, while mostly a dark twine color, appear olive green at times and nearly go unnoticed as they mesh with the background, especially when juxtaposed against an abundance of glittering egg cream colored triches that cram themselves into any available space. 

The nose out of the bag is very candy-like up top, the Zkittlez really comes through at first, but it also has a very fresh vaporous backing that becomes more and more prominent the longer you try to work through the other scents. It’s a bit of a hostile nostril take over. Breaking open the bud you get a sense for its mild density, it’s not super fluffy but has a good give to the squeeze. The nose gets slightly brighter but is essentially the same as the bag, it has that candy sweetness trying to take the dominant spot but the vaporousness is just holding it down at every turn. It does seem to have a more lemony lilt, but there’s a touch of orange as well, so it’s overall very citrusy. Busting it down by hand leaves a strong presence of candy sweet vapor on the fingertips, while the grinds themselves bring the scent into its final form and it becomes the very definition of fruity candy gas. The harmony in the fruity candy scent feels like it cascades across my sense of smell, unfolding like an accordion, bringing that fuel and a slightly distant perfume like floral as well. I really love this scent and if I could somehow move into it and live there I would. 

The dry pull comes with a very light candy sweetness, but it was difficult to get a solid pull as I left the material chunkier than usual, and I was getting a bit of a mummified look on the joint before lighting it. The inhale on the joint comes with a sugar sweet citrus, with an emphasis on that sugary aspect, while the bong comes with an extremely light lemon lime that was not consistent and often read as non-descript. The exhale on the joint comes with a tasty candy gas that widens out into a nice orange-like finish with just a touch of lime, whereas the bong comes through with a musty sweet cream and a hint of chalk. The fruitiness does make its way through on the bong occasionally, but it’s as if it’s riding sidecar, and the cream is the one laying on the gas from the driver’s saddle. 

The headchange is unfortunately the least distinctive aspect of this batch. Don’t get me wrong, it’s solid, it’s just that there’s very little wow factor involved in the effect. Mentally I felt present, and there was a noticeable calm that washed over me as my anxiety faded ever so slightly, but that anxiety still remained within mental arms reach. It saps motivation in a way that made me feel annoyed if I had to deal with any tasks to which I wasn’t looking forward to tackling. It’s the type of herb that’s very sigh inducing as dealing with life became a chore in itself. I also found myself making consistently making dumb little mistakes, like putting my keys away in the wrong place, which added to that annoyance upon correcting those mistakes. Physically I felt a slight decrease in energy but that’s about it, strong enough to make me want to kick back on the couch, but not to the point where I felt in danger of knocking out.

All in all, I really liked everything about this Duck Sauce outside of the slightly unremarkable buzz. It checks nearly all the boxes and I would be down to give another batch a shot. If I could find it at a slightly more affordable ticket I’d jump in again without hesitation, but at it’s current rate, there is just too much out there piquing my curiosity to double dip at the moment. This was a solid introduction to EastSide Eggroll and the Ted’s Budz line up and I’ll definitely get into more of their offerings asap.

Wendy from Squints

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Wendy from Squints and Foreign Genetics via From the Earth on 7/8/2022. THC tested out to 23.8% on the first batch. Initially purchased for $35 because of some awesome delivery deal, when I went back to the physical store I still ended up getting it on sale, but for a pricier $55 out the door. After hearing Squints talk about Wendy on the @firstsmokeoftheday podcast I felt compelled to do a hype check and I started searching around for a bag in my area. I came across a pretty killer delivery deal at From the Earth so I hit that order button without delay. 

These buds have very little give to the squeeze, so they would probably fare ok in the mylar on their own, but I love how their integrity is preserved with the help of a small plastic tray. The surface of the buds is a mix of sage and forest greens, with abundant patches of deep rich aubergine that dip into midnight blue, and even appear near vantablack at points. Spiced orange pistils tightly grip the budscape while a blizzard of white triches obscures the view of them so heavily they nearly go unnoticed on some nugs. 

The nose out of the bag hit me like a peppermint milkshake at first. There’s a very sweet candy aspect but there’s also this chalky necco wafer element with a touch of cream which is all enrobed in a minty vaporiousness. Breaking open a bud that vaporiousness really takes it up a notch and approaches Vick’s VapoRub levels of stinging the nostril but that candy chalky sweetness is still making its presence known along with a sweet musty quality. Busting it down by hand, my fingers smell of a powerful greasy must couped with gas, while the grinds themselves come with a sweet chalky fuel and a light fruity underpinning. Overall it’s very sweet but that eucalyptus-like gas aspect is truly overwhelming and makes the rest of the scents difficult to pin down. 

The dry pull on the joint brings a strong chalky sweetness with a minty gas edge while a taste reminiscent of a sugar cube quickly slaps the taste buds. The inhale on the joint is sugar sweet to the point it tastes vaguely like toasted marshmallows with a hint of vapor, whereas the bong has a vague musty mint-like zing. The exhale on the joint presents a musty gas with a touch of sweetness, whereas the sweetness hits hard uptop on the bong, and then quickly winds down into a flat chalkiness. Cross checking the flavor on my neutered Ghost Vapes MV1, at the only available temp, it comes with a strong mint pine combo on the inhale and comes out with a strong pinesol sensation that leaves your tongue coated in pine for a couple minutes afterward.  

The headchange is fantastic. It comes on quickly and brings a happy go lucky vibe that can really turn your frown upside down. There are two times I can distinctly remember absolutely losing my shit in a giggle fit over some genuinely funny circumstances, but the way with which I could not control my laughter in those moments is what sticks out the most. While this didn’t happen every single time I smoked Wendy, I definitely have to mention it, as the level to which I could not compose myself was servere and not something I can recollect happening with any other strain in the past few years. This feel good aspect does not lend itself to staying on task though, and it will bring on a strong case of the IDGAFs if you’ve got any chores you’re looking to tackle, but are not exactly looking forward to doing. I’d say your best bet is to save this smoke for days where you don’t have a strict itinerary and the only thing on your agenda is going with the flow. No matter what you get it up to, you’ll find it difficult to have a bad time with Wendy by your side. 

This is one of the rare instances where I double dipped before finishing up the review as I enjoyed the smoke that much. I have to admit, I had a bit of a sticker shock on that second batch purchase, but it was still worth it. Excellent job on this one Squints and Foreign Genetics, looking forward to getting into more of your library and seeing how other strains hold up in comparison, keep up the great work.