Ghost C@#&! from Royal Key Organics

Ghost C@#&! from Royal Key Organics via @catalyst_dtlb on 12/24/2022. THC tested out to 30%. Normally this goes for $60-ish after tax but I was able to get it for $30 with the Kushmas 50% off sale. The morning of Christmas Eve I found myself pouring over Catalyst Downtown Long Beach’s menu in preparation for the best sale of the year (Kushmas!), and while Royal Key was already on my radar, this Ghost C@#&! stood out to me for the weird name alone. There’s a lot of fun things you can guess that obscured word might be but it turns out the answer is pretty straight forward, it’s Candy, which apparently is one of a few words according to state law you can’t use on California Cannabis packaging.

The surface of these dense buds are mostly a mix of tea and persian greens with sporadic patches of rich aubergine, coupled with flares of ubiquitous apricot pistils busting out in all directions, awash in a glistening sea of white and egg cream colored triches.

The nose out of the jar is a semi sweet cream that smells very MAC “adjacent”, there’s also a hint of nutmeg-esque spice, and a solid musty underpinning to it all. The first time I broke open a bud, for a millisecond, it smelled nearly like I’d just opened a bag of Golden Crisp, so much so in that moment I quietly sang that old familiar jingle “can’t get enough of that Golden Crisp” to myself. While in subsequent sniffs, it still retained that cereal like vibe, there’s a solid pine quality in the mix as well, accompanied by a musty creamy gas filling out the back end. Breaking it down by hand my fingers were left with a scent of light cream and distant pine-sol , while the grinds themselves still have that cereal quality coupled with a fruity scent that was difficult to pull apart. At first it hit me almost like an artificial cherry, but as I dug in, I got some mango and berry-ish components too, and even a touch of banana, all wrapped up in a pine-like freshness. It’s very complex, and even in that sprawling description, I’m not sure I really did it justice. 

The dry pull on the J comes with a honeysuckle sweet freshness uptop that takes a quick acrid turn to more of a general sweet floral. It was a familiar flavor to me being half Peruvian, it tastes very similar to Ambrosoli de Chicha that are abundant down there, which I realize may not be informative to non-Peruvians, but I can’t think of a more widespread item that has the same exact flavor. The inhale on the joint comes with a floral freshness that leans into pine territory, where the bong is similar but also brings a doughy must along with it. The exhale on the joint presents as a creamy floral with a tinge of an acrid electric (tongue on a 9volt) lilt, and a chemical pine backing, whereas the bong comes with a musty dough interwoven with deep vaporous tones, and that same electric/metallic quality echoing the distance.

The headchange comes on quickly and with a satisfying thwack. Physically there’s a pressure that settles in right on top of the eyes, as well as some weight that pushes down on the shoulders, which didn’t make me seek a seat immediately, but did encourage an easily observed laziness in my stance and gait. Mentally I felt relaxed but fairly cognizant, I was able to think clearly and strategically about the day’s tasks ahead of me and plan accordingly. Although I ought mention there was this hazy IDGAF goblin hanging out in the background of my thoughts, and if I were so inclined to give in, I could see myself just hanging out, smoking more, and marathoning the rest of The Afterparty to get through it before my Apple TV+ trial runs out. 

All and all I really liked this Ghost Candy from Royal Key, which is really not surprising, as I’ve had nothing but solid experiences with everything I’ve gotten from them so far. While I picked this up partly due to the killer deal I was able to get on it at Catalyst’s Kushmas, for the caliber of smoke, I think $60 after tax is an extremely reasonable price for top shelf. While I’m not exactly chomping at the bit to get my hands on more ASAP, I could see myself picking it up again if I came across it and were in the mood for a rainy day type smoke as I think it’s well suited to staying in, and in So. Cal we’ve no shortage of rain lately, so I might find myself re-upping sooner than later. Great job on this one Royal Key, keep up the solid work!


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