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Cookie Crisp from Balanced Los Angeles

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Cookie Crisp from Balanced Los Angeles via a Balanced sales rep on 12/22/2020. THC tested out to 32.92%. This was gifted to me but I believe it averages 45-60$ pre-tax in the shops. Having had a pretty decent experience with their Macaron, when Balanced reached out and asked if I was interested in giving their Cookie Crisp a shot, I was absolutely on board to give it a go. These portly buds are mostly a mix of forest and army greens coupled with veins of deep rich aubergine, intense flurries of golden brown pistils, and an omnipresent coating of egg cream and yellowed triches.

The nose out of the jar is a sweet mustiness with a slightly peppery/spice cabinet edge. Busting open a bud there’s no real discernible difference, it hits exactly like the jar smell, and doesn’t amp up any at all. Breaking it down by hand, the grinds have a very subtle fruity sweetness similar to that of an apple peel with a bit of a flat vanilla cream backing, while I found a musty chlorophyll scent inundated my fingertips. Also I should note the buds feel desiccated somewhat compared to the first time I handled them, so while this jar definitely looks sleek, it didn’t seem to maintain the herb as well as some of the other packaging I keep in the same environment. The dry pull on the joint has a lightly sweet and spiced floral although it’s very distant and vague. The inhale is mostly smooth and on both the bong and the joint has a light sweet musty floral, although on the joint it also has this muted pastry backend, and it started to get slightly harsh toward the middle of the j which is not something I noticed on the bong. The exhale on the bong is a semi sweet musty floral with a touch of distant mild fruitiness and a hint of weak cream that seems to come and go whereas the joint is a slightly sweeter floral with that same mild fruitiness. Cross checking the flavor on my Ghost Vapes MV1, at 170c I get an ultra light floral mint whereas at 185c it’s more of a general floral, but it’s so vague it’s almost nonexistent. The headchange comes on quick and hits with a wave of calming energy while simultaneously putting a touch of pressure on my shoulders and behind my eyes. Mentally, while drifting off to space on occasion, I am able to mostly stay focused and relaxed while making my way through my task list. However, I also find myself wishing I could shirk this responsibility all together and just kick back on the couch, as the only challenge I’m really up to in this state is trying to stay awake while watching the entire Snyder Cut of Justice League in one go (impossible). All and all, while it’s undoubtedly some beautiful herb, there wasn’t anything particularly stand out about this batch that would have me jumping at the chance to get my hands on more. However, depending on the ticket and what else might be on offer, there’s a chance I’d grab it again if I was looking for some lazy day smoke

Shady Apples By Your Highness

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I’ve been pretty excited by this one! I love your highness and I love apple strains. Appearance wise it’s pretty standard with different shades of green but mostly lime green lots of orange hairs everywhere and a nice frosty coating of trichomes that really looked wet in the sun. Bud structure was good and easy to work with.

When you open the bag you’re met with this wonderful smell that reminded Martinelli’s sparkling cider. When I say reminded me it was almost exactly that smell. The taste was more of the same with a sweet apples and herbal tea flavors and it was so good I couldn’t stop smoking. The high was good fairly strong but nothing too heavy. Definitely a relax and chill kinda vibe without the couch lock that you may or may not be looking for. This was another big win by Your highness and is at the same level as the popular LMC. I definitely need to get more of this and try some of their other strains that I see popping up.

Trop Cherry By West Coast Alchemy

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This will be my first review of the new style of Wca. All cold cure and in the new containers with the fancy hype packaging that everyone seems to enjoy myself included. I’m skipping ahead to do this one for a special request. I’m pretty excited for this one because the source material was from Kaya Farms and have heard great things. The look of this stuff is always really appetizing in pictures as it has a nice color to it and always looks wet. Mine was no different with a very creamy texture.

The smell was very nice with with sour and sweet notes of fruit coming in definitely some orange and something else that I’ll attribute to the cherry taste but could almost be raspberry too. The sour and citrus come out really strong and burns your nose a little when taking a deep inhale. The taste was also really good but I feel the orange flavors really took over the cherry but the cherry softened and sweetened the orange to be more like orange candy combined with fruit punch candy instead of that funky almost rotten orange taste I typically associate with trop cookies. The high was a nice hard hitter that could set you for a nice relaxing evening or if not careful can put you out. This stuff is super expensive at 110 a gram and I don’t know that I can say it’s worth it with so much fire available at better prices but all in all it didn’t disappoint and led me to buy more.

Guava 2.0 By Connected

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This is one of those flowers that looks mean. With the dark purples and almost red orange hairs and only little bits of green catching the eye that give it an ominous look. Great bud structure and trim. Very easy to break apart and work with.

Now when I see Guava I get excited and almost always buy it. So how was this one? The Smell was very disappointing as no real tropical or putrid smells I’m used to with guava. Instead a little sweet and burnt inorganic material. (Very similar smell to the gushers) The smoke tasted sweet and earthy with musky notes at the end. But like the gushers as well was very rough on my throat and I didn’t enjoy smoking. The high was good but nothing special by the time the pain of dying was over. Out of all the recent connected purchases made I was only really happy with one. Weird because I’ve been really happy with the last few Alien drops and I thought they were basically the same company. Best advice I can give you is stay away from connected right now. Too hit or miss for the very top tier of cost.

Mandarin Gold from Maven Genetics

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Mandarin Gold from Maven Genetics via Calma West Hollywood on 10/20/2020. THC tested out to 22.1%. Huge shoutout to Calma for making it happen! Calma was cool enough to gift this to me, it runs $45 pre-tax on their menu, but goes for about the same after tax on the menu at Maven’s home shop Kush Alley in the valley. A few people have told me that Mandarin Gold from Maven was an awesome sativa, so when I spotted it on the shelf at Calma and asked them if it was cool if I swapped it for one of the other flavors in my sample pack, they were totally on board and pulled it right off the shelf for me to try. The surface of these semi flat diamond shaped buds are mostly lime accompanied by forest and Sacramento green accents, occasional intense flurries of bronze and apricot orange pistils, and an ample amount of yellowing egg cream colored triches.

The nose out of the jar is a slightly sweet must with a very faint touch of orange in the background. On busting open a bud, that orange gets slightly sharper and louder and takes center stage, pushing that mustiness into the wings. Breaking it down by hand, it leaves an orange must on the fingers that leans slightly cheesy, while the grinds themselves have a very sugar sweet orange quality that comes off more like an orange candy as opposed to a natural backyard orange. The dry pull on the joint is a sugar sweet floral with orange that hits me like a very mild orange starburst with a floral backing. The inhale is smooth and comes with a lightly sweet floral coupled with distant orange on the joint, whereas the bong is essentially the same, but the orange comes through just a little more. The exhale on both the joint and bong is a mildly sweet floral with an orange tang that again seems to be a bit sharper on the bong. Cross checking the flavors on my GhostVapes MV1, at 170c I get a heavy orange taste with a mint pine backing and at 185c, it turns the orange down just a tad and rounds out with that same semi sweet floral. The headchange comes on quick and has much more of a sedative effect than I was expecting with all of that citrus involved in the scent. Half way through my joint walk, and 3/4 of the way through the joint itself, I felt this sudden fatigue and weight on my body that made me really just want to sit down and take a minute to enjoy being stoned. I figured I might have just been having a low energy type day, but even on days where I had a good amount of energy prior to smoking, it seemed to drag me down a bit physically. Mentally I didn’t feel worse for wear, I felt present and focused and while I admit I was distracted on occasion, it wasn’t too disruptive to my train of thought and I was able to pick up right where I left off. Effects wise, it feels like it’s more of a straight hybrid as opposed to Sativa Dominant, but some of that could be due to being harvested around 9 months ago and going through off gassing etc that most likely changed it’s terpene composition somewhat. That said, I think it’s held up extremely well for it’s age as that orange is still very bright, I’d love to get a fresh batch for comparison to see if it hits me any differently. I can still see myself wake and baking on this strain but I’d save it for the start of a lazy Saturday/Sunday and not lean on it as a daily driver as it’s just a little too demotivational for those days where you want to get things done. Great job once again Maven, keep up the good work. 

Sour Garlic Cookies By The Real Cannabis Chris

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Wow when you open this jar you’re met with wave of stank that really let’s you know what you’re in for. Typical super clean 6 star melt that I’ve come to expect by Chris. This stuff looks like the sandy white beaches in the Bahamas can’t find any signs of anything but nice tricome heads. Melts really nice with no unwanted residue.

The smell on this one is a raunchy and savory smell that always reminds me of onions and Dmt. It taste heavy of garlic and onions and no sign of that Dmt smell thank goodness. There is also a doughiness to this one I haven’t detected before but almost gave it a creaminess. The sour comes through in the beginning then at the end and is really an enjoyable addition to the Gmo taste and I wish it was a little more prevalent. The high on this one sat me down and got me stuck. Not super sleepy but just spacey and felt a little like a micro dose of shrooms and I decided to play drums while high and although it was sloppy it was a ton of fun. I would recommend this one for someone looking for that special high and recommend you take it easy if a novice dabber. This one can be delivered in La for 95 a gram and for the quality you receive I’d say it’s definitely worth it.

M.Con #7 By Royal Key Organics

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Right now this is one of the growers I’m really excited about. Their flowers have been consistently great. These ones looks amazing first thing that pops is the neon green buds covered in so much resin that the purps almost look grey. Nice bit of oranges mostly at the top. Also has that slight fluffy look dense enough to be healthy but fluffy enough to look natural. Great easy structure to break apart.

The smells on this weren’t very exotic but enjoyable and strong none the less. Mostly got a sweet earthy combo of pine tree and spice. When smoking the taste becomes more complex like a floral combo of citrus and pine trees. Sounds weird but was really good. Sometimes I could taste the spice but not always. This stuff always burns really nice and no black ashes and a purfect cure for me. The high really smacks you in the face. Comes on hard and heavy and you will get stuck if not careful. I did!

GMO from Cali Kush Farms

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GMO from Cali Kush Farms via @therealkindcenter on 10/20/2020 (shout out to my dude Cary for making it happen!). THC tested out to 31.79%. This goes for around $50 out the door but check out The Kind Center’s website for specials, they have some killer deals. GMO is one of my favorite flowers when it comes to recent staple strains in California. It smacks in a particular way that sits with me just right, so when the Kind Center budtender pointed it out in my sample pack and was one of his favorites in the bunch, I was absolutely stoked to put this batch through its paces. The surface of these gorgeous spear shaped nugs is a mix of kelly, emerald and lime greens with sporadic rashes of aubergine, coupled with bursts of rusty copper colored pistils, all of which is absolutely flooded over with bright white and cream colored triches.

The nose out of the jar is a savory must with a funky hash twist. Busting open a bud that savory aspect amps up a bit but it’s essentially a louder version of the jar scent. Breaking it down by hand, there’s a stick left on the fingers along with that savory must and a distant hint of mint-pine, while the grinds themselves hit me like an onion heavy tuna salad. I know that’s a bit of a strange description but that’s really the first thing that came to mind, no fish scent, but the salt mayo and onion combo is definitely present and has a piney back end. A dry pull on the joint comes through with that savory floral and a distant semi-sweet mint. The inhale is smooth, and on the joint comes off with a bit of a spicy floral bite, whereas the bong has a muted savory quality with a salty edge. The exhale on the bong is a salty savory floral with an electric lean that reminds me of sticking my tongue on a 9volt battery as a kid, whereas the joint is more of straight savory floral with an acidic funk, and in both cases they had a tendency to punch the septum and make my eyes water. Cross checking the flavors on my MV1 from GhostVapes, at 170c I get a lightly sweet floral with a touch of mint and pine in the background, whereas at 185c the sweet floral intensifies and the mint falls off some but the pine remains very much present. The headchange came on quick with a formidable stopping power that took me from 100 to 20 mph near immediately. In prep for my recent move I found myself in a constant rushed state of mind, however after I smoked a single bowl of this GMO, the motivational anxiety coursing through my veins just moments before had disappeared almost completely. I found myself kicked back, fully relaxed on the couch, watching a random episode of California’s Gold on YouTube and lamenting Huell Howser being gone all too soon. Before I knew it an hour had passed, and I was heavily invested in Huell’s current adventure, while totally neglecting any sort of progress for my move. I’d say this batch is a motivation sapper but it’s more than that; it’s a motivation wrecking ball. Attempting to get anything of consequence done after smoking this is a pure exercise in will power, one I failed to complete multiple times, although I do admit I did so happily as relaxing somehow becomes the top priority on your agenda as you succumb to the powerful grip of this strain. If you couldn’t tell already, I really enjoyed my time with this jar, and if you’re at all a fan of GMO and can get your hands on it I know you’ll enjoy it too. I may be biased, but it’s an indica that ticks all boxes for me personally, and Cali Kush really knocked this batch out the park. Great job once again Cali Kush, you consistently put out top quality heat which is a rarity in the rec market, keep up the excellent work!

Scotti Faced Full Melt by The Real Cannabis Chris

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I love me some full melt! This one was no exception. Super clean 6 star hash that looks like beach sand. The smell was an earthy pine and a spicy citrus. Was subtle smells but definitely there enough to identify.

The taste though was a strong sour citrus finishing earthy and spice. I was caught off guard by the taste because the citrus was so strong it really reminded me of lime candy. The high was really strong I felt it come over my eyes fast and heavy. It really made me forget about shit that was bothering me and eventually lead to some great sleep. Based on how hard it hit me definitely not for novice dabbers. Overall great tasting hash with a very strong high. This dude is really killing it. For the level of fire and the amazing terps it’s priced below its closest competition and smoking it. Can be delivered in La for $95 a gram.

Gushers By Connected Cannabis Co.

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This flower was really nice looking with a spread of lime greens and purples with orange hairs popping out almost evenly spread across the buds. The structure was nice and very easy to work with. A nice coating of resin really finishes it up nicely.

The smell is a combination of slight fruity notes musk and heavy smell of melted/burnt inorganic material. Once smoked it definitely doesn’t have the inorganic burnt taste but a slightly sweet Kush taste and really harsh. I couldn’t get one rip on it without coughing out a lung. Burnt black as well. The high was enjoyable and strong enough but I really couldn’t get over how unenjoyable the smoke was. At the very top of the pricing point that’s really disappointing. So save your $80 and buy something different.